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Filtering by Category: Personal

Give Presence

Sima Tamaddon

As of lately I have circled back to the state of new-mom exhaustion and the constant juggling of motherhood. I am loving every single new thing Harley does from her sitting up on her own, scooting backwards, sticking out her tongue, finding different tones which range from cute coos to shrill exuberant shrieks of excitement to my least favorite, skipping naps. I like to believe she is skipping naps because she is so involved in her outside world she struggles closing her eyes, early onset of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is my mom diagnosis.

Anyhow, there are moments when I see her look at me pull out my phone and she looks at me with these eyes of 'Pay attention to me Mommy' and I realize that she doesn't care if I know what is going on the world, or if I am caught up on everyone's Insta feed, or FB. She cares that I am with her, really with her and fully engaged.

All I have to do is look her in the eyes and laugh, and she laughs. 

'Thank you, God, for this precious gift' is what runs through my mind EVERY SINGLE time she smiles.

And it is not just Harley. It is very similar with Lila. She wants my attention, still, at almost 10. She wants to have conversations with me and engage. No iPad, no iPhone, no other apps. Just mommy and Lila time. 

So as we move towards Black Friday with the constant pressures of sales and shopping, maybea date with no phone, no computer, no distractions would be the BEST GIFT EVER.

And if that is not possible due to distance or if shopping is your thing, I highly recommend purchasing from a B corporation. If you don't know what a B corporation is, it is a company that uses business to be meaningful and with purpose beyond the bottom line for the world. Think environment, think hiring practices, think safety of products, these are the companies we look to for the future of change and innovation.

Some of my favorite CERTIFIED B corps are: 

1. Patagonia. Check out how the maternity/paternity leave policy here. Not to mention the clothing is built to last! I still have a jacket I bought in college. YES, it is expensive but watch the maternity/paternity leave policy, again.

2. Etsy. Seriously. I have bought some of my favorite stuff and all from small (mostly LOCAL) business owners. LOVE ETSY!!

3. Beautycounter.  This is a company on a mission to change the marketplace, educate consumers on safer products, and make sure that we catch up to EU standards. Watch this video to hear my own story of Why Beautycounter, make it to the minute mark for a truly funny moment.

Have I missed some other fab idea for having a present moment? Or is there a company that should have made the list? Please let me know!

 

Summer Ending Survival Kit

Sima Tamaddon

Summer is almost over which means earlier mornings, lunches to make, schedules to keep up with, and saying goodbye to lazier days with later nights. 

But I do have a 'survival kit' to help with summer ending that I wanted to share:

1. Coffee. Good strong, dark coffee. The smell, even the smell of coffee can make my mornings so much better! I have learned that not every cup of coffee is created equally. It comes down to how it was made and the quality of the bean. Funny enough we lost our ability to make coffee at home this summer first because our fancy 12-cup drip coffee maker broke. Just stopped brewing coffee. Then I switched to using our french press.  Sadly, I broke the french press by using finely ground coffee. (One should only use coarsely ground coffee beans in a french press). Truth be told I was partially lazy, because that's right I had a baby! And extra steps are hard.  I'm not complaining I am just momsplaining here. So the decision had to be made; french press or coffee pot... and I went with pour over. Yup, we decided to try something new but stick to my favorite beans from Swings.

2. The game face. Under eye cream. Mascara. Lip Gloss. That's my whole make-up routine. If I had more time I would probably do more but I feel like this gets the job done and done fast. I switched most of my health/beauty products over to Beautycounter. One because I fell in love with their products and second because their mission to provide safer, less toxic products into everyones hands by lobbying for new laws. While the products aren't 100% all natural they promise that over 1400 toxic ingredients (banned from the E.U.) will never be used.

3. A good book. For me that means a book that is not made of cardboard and only four-pages long. I know it is hard to fit in reading time but man how great it is to escape and read a book. My fall fiction pick is Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng and if you are looking for a great non-fiction read I highly recommend Brene Brown's Rising Strong.  I read this book last year but I plan to re-visit it. 

4. Goals. Set some goals. I know that every year since getting clear during my goal coaching sessions with Jacki Carr that I re-visit them. If you have never formally done any goal coaching I highly recommend it with Jacki. She lights a fire in your soul and gets you really connected to what is important in YOUR LIFE!! (Psst. Goal setting is not just for New Year's, stay connected daily!)

5. A new toothbrush. Because you need to rotate that out on the reg!!

All of these things are in no particular order except the coffee. Coffee first. 

 

 

 

 

It's not always easy.

Sima Tamaddon

 Photo by Yogivanna

Photo by Yogivanna

What we don't speak of we are afraid of. I have been trying to write about my miscarriage for a few weeks but every time I sat down to write I was overwhelmed with emotions. I am still emotional but it was time I kept telling myself. So I sat down to write and I kept saying how do I write about something no one talks about.

The statistics of miscarriage are too high for me to write about so I know that more people are touched by this than I want to imagine and that's not the point, miscarriages being common doesn't mean they don't hurt. People who found out, some would tell me about how it wasn't meant to be or everything happens for a reason or some even told me how high the possibility of miscarriage were. None of that helped. A few, those that had been been through it, usually just said the only thing I wanted to hear, "I'm sorry. I know it doesn't make sense. I'm sorry."

As the first few mornings came I would wake up and ask, my husband with tear filled eyes if it was all a bad dream, he would shake his head no and I would choke on my tears knowing that it wasn't. However, I held onto hope that it was just a bad pregnancy dream for a few days until I just started to feel my stomach shrinking. I would massage it as I tenderly did for the weeks I was pregnant. I remember the first time we saw our baby's heartbeat on the sonogram it was so strong at 148. The sound was almost mesmerizing. After the initial ultrasound we did the unthinkable we told people before 12 weeks because I felt confident . We told our daughters, I even shared it to Facebook with my 1400 closet friends. Two weeks later we went in for a routine exam and the doctor offered a sonogram our eyes lit with excitement. We get to see him again. The machine went on and I couldn't hear the fast thumping sound, the doctor quickly turned off the microphone and I knew in that second something was terribly wrong. Her face said it all, my husbands eyes were following her eyes as they searched on the screen as she moved the sonogram wand. Then she spoke. I didn't hear much after,

"I'm sorry but your baby's heart has stopped." 

The tears flooded the room. She gave us some time and came back with our options. I could not even listen or think. I was in shock. I kept asking was it the way I ate, my workouts, she wouldn't humor me. It's not your fault she would repeat.  We went home that afternoon and I was angry. At myself, at the world, I wanted my baby back.  I woke up and I thought the doctor most have been wrong and so we went back to the hospital and I was clearly in a panic and they gave me another ultrasound. Quiet. Nothing. I wept more. The baby was gone. 

As the weeks passed I have had some good days and some bad moments. I have struggled with blaming myself from every meal, the vitamins, to how I choose to sweat. Nothing will bring back the baby and I understand that but the struggle is real.  

I'm not sure I have the answers but I know that posting stats on percentages of pregnancies that end in miscarriage was not what I wanted to see or hear. I wanted to know that blame, struggle, pain, doubt were all normal feelings , that I wasn't alone. I know I'm not and I'm grateful for every friend who shared their own pain. We are all bonded but let's not hide life. It's not always easy.

We are not alone.